Posts Tagged Job
I inherited a house I lived in for 12 years with my family, from my grandpa for taking care of him until his death. My parents constantly state that I stole the house from them.
My father lost his job and they moved in with us. They constantly verbally abuse me front of my children calling me improper names. My brother also moved in with his PitBull who attacked my 12 year old daughter and killed her guinea pig front of her. It took me 3 hours to calm her and my parents response was it was my daughters fault for holding her pet. I asked my brother to remove the dog.
We took my daughter on vacation so she can rest from he trauma; I asked my parents to please make sure the dog’s belonging is gone when we return. It was not; therefore I asked my father why very nicely and he attacked me. I had 5 witnesses and he swore that I will never be able to keep my house he will make sure of it. I asked him to leave the house and never came back. This is not the only time he has treated me this way. He hit me until I was 21 and when I was pregnant he cursed my child in my stomach hoping she would die front of strangers on the street. My mom also blames me for how my brother turned out. She says it is all my faoult because when I was 16 I worked too much instead of raising him right while she was at work.
I know I am abused but they always make me feel guilty and I forgive them. This time I am protecting my children who I raise with love and respect. Did I do the right thing by throwing my parents out? Also, I never asked my brother to leave but he broke many things in the house and told me he never wants to see us again. Should I report the incident to the police? Pitt-bull attack and vandalism?
A: Please listen to your own good sense. You are living in an environment of domestic violence. Just because these people are related to you does not, not, not mean that they are entitled to abuse you emotionally, verbally, and physically. You have been worn down to the point that you can no longer see clearly how badly you are being treated and you accept the blaming and shaming. You have nothing to apologize for! The abuse is now being extended to your daughter. Let the tiger-mom in you come out. She needs your protection.
You can’t just tell these people to leave. They will make you miserable. They’ve already shown they are capable of violence. You need support and legal help to separate you from this family safely. Please look at this website to learn how to go about getting the help you need.
If your family has access to this computer, delete this message and your inbox history and use the computer at your library or at a friend’s house to explore your options.
These people are dangerous. Protect yourself and your daughter.
I wish you well.
I’ve never been really close to my mother. But just about a year ago we became even more distant, being that my brothers ex girlfriend has been living with her. My brother is in prison; he and his GF are no longer together. My mom says she just “likes” her and they have a lot in common. This young woman is 23, has no job, the mentality of a ghetto fifteen year old, and I strongly believe that she smokes meth and has gotten my mother hooked on it too (which my mom denies, but her rapid weight loss tells me otherwise). She lives off of my mom for free. My mom does not call me. She always finds an excuse as to why she cannot visit, the few times she has, this girl is always there. My mother also does not contact my grandparents anymore. My question is: Should confront this girl and tell her I want my mom back and she needs to leave? Or do I just forget about my mother and let her live her own life the way she wants?
A: Your mom has made her choice and while it is unfortunate, your brother’s ex is a symptom, not a cause of the problem. Your mom seems to have shut herself off from the family – and that includes you. You want what your mom could be, not who she is.
It is time to grieve the loss of the mother you never really had so you can move on. Once you stop trying to get what can’t be given you will no longer feel depleted. Let go of trying to get something your mom can’t give. In this way you can find positive, loving relationships instead.
I had my dream and aspirations regarding my career for so many years which all got shattered due to my inability to pass the competitive exam. The aim which i always cherished didn’t fructify …Now i am in a state of despondency, frustration,hopelessness.Now i feel as if there is no purpose or motive of my life….
I am in my home along with my parents without any job….As i didn’t get the vocation i wanted…other things seems meaningless to me and moreover i don’t feel like joining any other sector…..The things which i always aimed at for the last 20 years were never achieved……(as far as my academics and my career is concerned).Each day seems like a day of burden and sorrow…i don’t like to talk to anybody nor i am able to enjoy with anyone because each time my failures crops up in back of my mind….My girlfriend too deserted me
Please help me how to come out of this despondent situation
A: You do have my sympathy but I’m going to give you a little “tough love.” I think you are having a tantrum. You didn’t get what you wanted so now you are taking your mind and education and creativity “home.” It’s as if you are telling the world that because you didn’t get what you wanted, you aren’t going to contribute at all. I happen to think you – and the world – deserve better.
Please – get yourself an appointment with a career counselor. I understand you didn’t get the career you wanted. But the same training that you did so diligently for so long probably also prepares you for other opportunities. There may well be related options that you don’t even know about. Sometimes, people find there are even better ways to use their training. You won’t know until you talk with someone who has expertise in such matters. You certainly aren’t going to find a basis for success by sitting in your room feeling sorry for yourself.
I hope you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get motivated instead. Only you can turn this situation around. Find a therapist if you need some support. Please don’t let a setback this year become a basis for a lifetime of failure.
I wish you well.