Posts Tagged Negative Thoughts

Do I Have an Issue?


Hi, I’m 14. I’ve been in high school for about a year now. I started becoming very very lonely. I used to go out with my “friends”. Now I stay home every single day & it’s summer. I sometimes cry myself to sleep because I feel so unwanted! My parents are divorce, I live with my dad & my dad HATES my mom. I haven’t seen my mom in 4 years. Witch probably makes me so emotional. I sometimes even cry because I don’t think I feel love or understood by anyone. I don’t like talking a bout my feelings to people because I feel unwanted, I feel like they won’t care. I keep so much to myself. It brakes me. I believe my dad is Bi-Polar & has anger issues, witch could be a reason why I get mad very easy. I hate my body so much! I’m fat! Im very insecure. I have so much emotion in me. I’m always sad, I could be happy for one minute then back to sad. I also sleep my whole day away.

A. It seems as though you may be experiencing symptoms of depression. You have negative thoughts, you don’t feel good about yourself and you are withdrawing from friends and family. Your feelings may be related to the breakup of your parents’ marriage or their contentious relationship. They may be so focused on battling each other that they are neglecting your emotional needs.

Another aspect of this problem is that you have been without your mother for four years. It is unclear why you have not seen your mother for such a long time but this likely is contributing to your problems.

I would strongly advise you to speak to your father or other members of your family about the possibility of professional help. Don’t ignore these problems. Your symptoms need to be addressed. It seems as though your father is currently unable to meet your emotional needs and if that is the case, then you should seek help from a mental health professional. A therapist can assist you in developing coping skills and the processing of your feelings in a psychologically healthy way.

If you feel uncomfortable approaching your father about this issue, then as soon as school begins next month, speak to a guidance counselor. The guidance counselor could assist you in addressing these problems or refer you to a mental health professional.

In the meantime, force yourself to be in the presence of others. That may not be easy but do it anyway. The less that you are isolated, the better. Isolation increases the likelihood of negative feelings. I would also encourage you to begin writing in a journal. A journal could be helpful in a number of ways including being a release for your emotions and documenting your symptoms. When and if you have the opportunity to meet with a mental health professional, having those notes from your journal could greatly assist the therapist in determining what might be wrong. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

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Need Help with Extreme Anxiety


Middle of the night I wake up in a panic and need to check on my husband because I am sure that he died in his sleep. I feel his chest and cannot feel him breathing or a heart beat, I usually shake him or grab him freaking out which wakes him up. Some nights I wake up sobbing other nights my husband has to wake me up because I am crying in my sleep. I have done this with all of my children when they were little and my husband for years now but it was only once in a great while. Now it is much more extreme, at least once a week. I was the day time caretaker of my grandmother who passed away in January and I think that could be the cause of the increase in this anxiety. I need to know what this is and how I can make it stop. Please give me some direction .

A: I’m so sorry this has gone on so long without treatment. What you are describing is an anxiety disorder. Everyone who loves someone has some fears that something will happen to them. But in your case, those fears are in over-drive. I agree that the death of your grandmother probably exacerbated what was already a serious problem. Her death made your fears even more real for you.

I think you should consider seeing a mental health professional who is experienced with anxiety disorders. It might be helpful to take some anti-anxiety medication for awhile just to bring the anxiety down a notch to make it more possible for you to take advantage of talk therapy. Cognitive-behavioral therapy has been found to be the most useful approach for managing this kind of problem. You will learn ways to stop the negative thoughts and to replace them with reassurances on your own.

Please follow through and get the help you need. You – and your husband – deserve to sleep peacefully.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

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