Posts Tagged Occupation
I inherited a house I lived in for 12 years with my family, from my grandpa for taking care of him until his death. My parents constantly state that I stole the house from them.
My father lost his job and they moved in with us. They constantly verbally abuse me front of my children calling me improper names. My brother also moved in with his PitBull who attacked my 12 year old daughter and killed her guinea pig front of her. It took me 3 hours to calm her and my parents response was it was my daughters fault for holding her pet. I asked my brother to remove the dog.
We took my daughter on vacation so she can rest from he trauma; I asked my parents to please make sure the dog’s belonging is gone when we return. It was not; therefore I asked my father why very nicely and he attacked me. I had 5 witnesses and he swore that I will never be able to keep my house he will make sure of it. I asked him to leave the house and never came back. This is not the only time he has treated me this way. He hit me until I was 21 and when I was pregnant he cursed my child in my stomach hoping she would die front of strangers on the street. My mom also blames me for how my brother turned out. She says it is all my faoult because when I was 16 I worked too much instead of raising him right while she was at work.
I know I am abused but they always make me feel guilty and I forgive them. This time I am protecting my children who I raise with love and respect. Did I do the right thing by throwing my parents out? Also, I never asked my brother to leave but he broke many things in the house and told me he never wants to see us again. Should I report the incident to the police? Pitt-bull attack and vandalism?
A: Please listen to your own good sense. You are living in an environment of domestic violence. Just because these people are related to you does not, not, not mean that they are entitled to abuse you emotionally, verbally, and physically. You have been worn down to the point that you can no longer see clearly how badly you are being treated and you accept the blaming and shaming. You have nothing to apologize for! The abuse is now being extended to your daughter. Let the tiger-mom in you come out. She needs your protection.
You can’t just tell these people to leave. They will make you miserable. They’ve already shown they are capable of violence. You need support and legal help to separate you from this family safely. Please look at this website to learn how to go about getting the help you need.
If your family has access to this computer, delete this message and your inbox history and use the computer at your library or at a friend’s house to explore your options.
These people are dangerous. Protect yourself and your daughter.
I wish you well.
I have a partner and we have been together for 15 years. I was 18 when we met and he was 33. Our whole relationship we have struggled with his attraction to younger men. He dated a 16 year old for 6 months when he was 31. We have went to a therapist over it and they have told me that since he has been with me he has not made any advances onto a young boy. But I catch him watching 12 year old boys wrestle, kiss or anything else he can find on youtube. I am not sure what to do. I love him and we have a life together, but this worries me.
A: It should worry you. Being sexually aroused by young boys is not a benign paraphilia. A young person could get hurt. Your partner could land in jail. At 18, you fulfilled his fantasy of being with a young boy – and you were legal. I’m concerned that 15 years later, now that you are clearly an adult, sex with you may not be enough to gratify him.
It is true that as long as someone has strong impulse control, he may never cross the line. However, some of the leading researchers who study pedophilia believe that indulging in watching such videos is a slippery slope. It encourages an objectification of young boys and reduces the older person’s ability to empathize with what they might feel if he approached them. Further, being with a lover is not a reliable deterrent for inappropriate or illegal sexual activity.
It’s not enough to hope that because he’s with you, he won’t act on his impulses. It’s important that he has a clear plan for staying on the right side of the line. That includes having empathy for children, having a well articulated plan for keeping children and himself safe, and being clear that he does have control over his choices. If that hasn’t been talked about specifically in therapy, it should be. If the therapist isn’t comfortable with a frank and detailed conversation about it, please find a therapist with expertise in the issue.
People do have control over their proclivities. But they have to be committed to it. I hope your partner is being honest with himself and with you.
I wish you well.
Everytime time i talk to my husband i get mad or aggravated with him. We have been togther a total of 4 years almost 5. i had to deal with him emotional cheating on me which i am not really over with cause the lack of trust. He would go on all types of websites and chats to find women talk to time while i was alseep, at work or anytime i was away he keeps on doing it even when i was giving birth to our second child. I ask him to stop and tell him it hurts me and even got to a point of me crying.
So now im trying to make it work with him cause he claim he stop. when i talk to him i feel like he talks to me with disrecpect. For examples l say i am going to talk a shower and he says good for you or i say your starting to make me upset and he says i am not your making your self upset . I always seem to get sacrastic or smart comments. I am a very strong woman and i always say what i have to but it like i am talking to a kid. I thought it could be a age difference cause im 23 and he is 31. I think he thinks i am young and dumb but i am far far from that. What should i do? I am at a lost.
A: I am very glad you wrote. Your marriage doesn’t have the foundation of trust and respect it needs. You may be strong, but with two children at only 23, you haven’t had the time to develop yourself or your marriage. You two don’t seem to know how to talk to each other or support each other. My guess is that you’re both stressed out.
I strongly suggest that you get some couples counseling. If you and your husband could solve these problems on your own, you would have done so already. Neither one of you is getting what you need in a marriage. Your children need parents who are more respectful and loving with each other.
I wish you well.
I am 13 and I’m happy but have strange thouts, suicidal and stuff. I am sorta scared but i DO LOVVe LIFE? What is wrong with me?
A: There’s probably nothing “wrong” with you. You are 13. It’s a time when kids begin to ask the big questions about life and death and meaning and relationships and everything else. People who are smart and sensitive and curious about life often explore all sorts of things that are strange or different or even scary. It’s part of figuring out who you are, what you want out of life, and what possibilities are available to you. You will discard some of the ideas. You’ll decide to go after others. All this is entirely normal.
What is sad to me is that there are so few places where a teen can talk about these things without being worried about being judged and criticized. I hope you have parents you can talk to. I hope your best friends are the kind of people who can share what they are thinking without worrying that it will be all over the school in the next 10 minutes. If you are a person of faith, I hope your church has a youth group that offers a sanctuary for exploring your innermost thoughts and feelings. If you don’t have any of those places to do safe exploration, I hope you can find a school counselor or therapist to talk to.
Do keep exploring. It’s the only way to figure out who you are.
I wish you well.